


It's a barter system. Right?

by JQ (musicmillennia)



Series: Emanon [3]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Best Friend Mick, Big Brother Leonard Snart, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Dragons, F/F, Fantasy, Gen, Mentions of Prostitution, Phoenixes, Protective Siblings, Self-Acceptance, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-19 13:57:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5969599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicmillennia/pseuds/JQ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For years, Lisa's thought of her whole life as one giant debt no amount of money can repay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's a barter system. Right?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dragdragdragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragdragdragon/gifts).



> dragdragdragon, you name was so fitting because of the dragon in this fic that I simply had to dedicate this to you. Also because you ship killergold (I checked lol) so that's reason enough tbh. May you, as well as anyone else reading this, enjoy.
> 
> TW: almost-rape (it doesn't actually happen, which is why I didn't put it in the warnings), child abuse, self-loathing

She's born with a mark on her left shoulder: a bronze four-point star surrounded by tiny ones, all shining with glitters of gold.

She also kills her mother in childbirth. Of course she does.

* * *

 Lisa starts counting Lenny's bruises a week after her seventh birthday, when their dad decides it's her turn to learn a few lessons. Her big brother snatches her out of the way like a knight from a story. He gets eighteen for his trouble.

She still finds out the difference between a bottle and a fist, but Lenny cleans her up. Practically raises her. Shelters her, makes sure she's fed, helps her with her homework, the whole nine yards.

The thing she hates the most is how she can't figure out a way to say thank you.

* * *

Lisa doesn't find out about the other way Lenny's been protecting her until she's eleven and one of their dad's loaners leers at her and asks how good she is at sucking. She turns red from anger and mortification (surprised that she's still capable of the second), about to tell the guy off, inevitable beating be damned...when Lenny steps in front of her and saunters up to the asshole.

"Not as good as me," he murmurs in his ear, running his fingers down his chest, to his belt. Lisa's whole body goes numb.

The loaner ends up forking over twice what Lewis Snart needs. That night, Lisa vomits. Lenny rubs her back, holds her hair. It just makes her get sicker.

* * *

"Better me than you, sis."

_No. I'm not worth that, Lenny._

Far from the first time Lisa thinks this.

* * *

Lenny's egg is Lisa's favorite thing in the world, because she can look at it and finally hope her brother will have something in return. Sure, it hasn't hatched yet, but she read that phoenix eggs, like a dragon's, have a longer incubation cycle when they identify a potential companion while developing,  _and_ they usually don't enter the world until they feel their rider's emotions. Which, according to Dr. Gregory Borden's studies, takes a while to happen, because the fetus has to grow the part of their brain that allows for a surface empathetic bond, and then attach to the intended match from  _inside_ the egg.

(She assumes Lenny knows this. He's smart, doesn't do things half-assed like their dad. Turns out he didn't even know there were whole books written on phoenixology.)

Sometimes, when her brother's not around, she runs her fingers gingerly over the bumpy shell. "I hope you come out soon," she'd whisper to it, "he really needs you, y'know?"

Whenever she touches it, her mark warms on her shoulder. Lisa wonders what that means.

* * *

Lisa is  _relieved_ when Lenny leaves. Her first thought is,  _yes, go. Live your life. Save yourself._

Like they're on a battlefield, and she's the one bleeding out. Pretty apt, to be honest.

Everything brightens when, as she's watching him pile into a stolen Lincoln, she sees a tiny ball of blue feathers poking out of her brother's pocket.

She hopes she'll meet them again someday.

* * *

Lisa runs at sixteen, three years later. Her life's given her the advantage of looking older than she is, and her pretty face gives fake IDs authenticity.

Her dragon hasn't popped up yet. Part of her hopes they never do; they don't deserve someone like her.

* * *

Mick. Fucking. Rory.

Lisa won't lie; she's jealous of him.

Because Mick Rory is so unabashedly himself, and if Everyone thinks that's wrong, well then that's Everyone's problem, not his. He's comfortable in his skin, walks around like he wouldn't change a thing in any part of him. He doesn't like something, he lets that something know; he wants something, he gets it; he loves something, he lets himself blaze with it.

Mick Rory is the antithesis of her and Lenny. Maybe that's why he holds Lenny's heart so well. Why he doesn't take their bullshit, and why he can slap them both on the back without their flinching away first.

Why he can look Lisa in the eye while preening his phoenix's chaotic feathers and tell her, "You're gonna find them. When you do, don't give 'em that 'I don't deserve it' shit."

Lisa musters a smirk, cleaning her glock. "Of course I deserve a majestic ride, baby."

Mick snorts. "Make sure you're thinkin' that when it happens."

She meets Lenny's eye over his head. Lenny shrugs a shoulder, like he has no idea how Mick does that either.

* * *

Lisa laughs until she cries when everything happens all at once on her eighteenth birthday.

She's never been roofied before, which is a pleasant surprise to her all the way up until she is. It's at an upscale bar in downtown Coast City, a thirty minute drive from her little apartment that's come to feel cozier than most places. Bartenders are supposed to be great; they've never given her reason to shoot first.

She should've known. She really should've known. Stupid her got sloppy in her comfort. She doesn't even know his name, but his breath smells like her dad's and his suit costs approximately three thousand dollars. (Funny how she can still calculate that. Like riding a bike, she supposes.)

He stuffs her into his Mercedes and drives. She tries to scream, tries to  _move_ , but she can't. She's painfully aware, dazed as she is, of everything that's going on, but she can't do a damn thing about it. If she could, she'd let out a harsh laugh, because that's just the story of her fucking life.

"I'm going to take care of you so well," he rasps, "you're gonna love it baby. Someone pretty as you always loves it."

Lisa whimpers. Tears track down her eyes. It's disgusting.

As if she couldn't nauseate herself anymore, she goes ahead and does it by thinking  _Help. Somebody help me. **Please**._

Like she deserves it. Like she's going to get it. Fuck, she's so pathetic.

Suddenly the car flips, and he screams. A loud squelching noise, followed by blood splashing Lisa's face. She lands hard, glass shattering and stabbing into her skin, road scraping and cutting her as she's rolled from the wreckage.

A furious roar shakes the ground. Lisa's world plunges into black.

 

 

When she wakes up, her big brother's got her tucked under his chin and a phoenix sings above her. Her hands tremble, taking fistfuls of his jacket. He doesn't speak, just holds her tighter.

A few minutes pass before she can gather herself enough to ask: "Where are we?"

"Eight hundred seventy-five miles from Coast City," Lenny reports. Like a child, Lisa clings to his steady cadence. "A cave she's staying in for a while."

Lisa swallows back fresh tears on reflex. "She? Didn't know you were taking your girls into caves now, Lenny."

A rumbling noise startles her. She can feel Lenny's smirk against her hair. "Not mine," he says, " _yours_."

Heat approaches, surrounding them. Oh fuck. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.

Lisa dares to peek out from Lenny's arms. A sleek, molten gold head hovers over her: hornless, almost aquiline, with overlapping triangular plates sticking out the back. Intelligent green eyes shimmering with concern, with _affection._ Right between those eyes, a bronze star surrounding by tinier ones.

She hiccups, tears coming freely like Len's had when he first beheld xem. Hope is overwhelming like that.

Lenny willingly releases her as she scrambles to her unsteady feet. Despite so many alarms blaring in her head, reminding her of how broken she is, how something so beautiful shouldn't be saddled by her, she wraps her arms around that snout as much as she can and lets the bond melt into the very center of her head. Her own personal Big Bang.

She's female. When her voice blooms in Lisa's head, it's a higher pitch than most of her kind, and it feels like a shining beacon.

_I am with you now._

Lisa sobs.

(She doesn't see Lenny clear his throat and look away, wiping some dust from his eye. But she does hear xir song of joy.)

* * *

Xe and Lenny take their leave with an open invitation to both Lisa and her to visit them in Central.

As they become a tiny speck in the distance, Lisa asks her, "How did he know where I was?"

_He was already looking for you. He wished to surprise you for your coming of age._

Of course he did.

She continues,  _I heard your cry for help. He and his phoenix saw me fly away with you and followed me._ Affection softens her face.  _When he saw my Mark, he said—_ and Lenny's voice fills Lisa's head— _"Well isn't this a surprise,"_ and  _"I've been waiting for you to show up. I hope you realize my baby sister's needed you for years."_

The thought comes unbidden to Lisa:  _Maybe I did. But I knew I didn't deserve it._

Her dragon nudges her.  _Yes you do._

The firm sense of belief behind those words nearly sends Lisa to her knees.

* * *

Lenny and Mick separate after a job gone wrong. Idiots.

_They will return to each other._

Lisa sighs, draping herself over her back, looking up at the stars. "I know. They're still idiots."

A rumbling chuckle.  _Yes indeed._

* * *

 The pair travel around for a bit before Lisa joins her brother and Mick in Central. Her dragon—she's got no name for her, so Gold has to do—eagerly follows.

CCPD's driving Lenny and Mick to Iron Heights. They had the gall to separate them and their phoenixes; even if Lisa hadn't planned this rescue down to the second, she could've found the armored trucks all on her own by following those agonized cries.

Gold knocks out the cops' griffins no problem. From her saddle, Lisa shoots the tires, deadly aim not failing her an instant. She slides to the ground, gun at the ready.

 _I will free their companions,_ says Gold.

Lisa opens the front truck's doors. Lenny's welcoming smirk is brittle; he's feeling Blue's anguish.

"Hey sis," he says.

"Second honeymoon not turn out the way you planned, boys?" teases Lisa.

"On the contrary," Lenny replies, standing, "everything is going exactly as I planned."

Mick shoves past him in his haste to reach his orange. Lisa raises an eyebrow after him.

"So I see, big brother."

She unlocks Lenny's cuffs. He not so subtly hurries towards Blue. Xe wraps him in xir wings, trilling in harmony with his humming. It's adorable.

Gold laughs where she's still behind the second truck. Lisa peers around, following her gaze—and there's Mick and his orange rolling on the road, growling at each other.

 _Phoenix riders,_ Gold jokes.

* * *

Flash is betrayed, but his prisoners are saved from their torture and hopeless future. Quickly afterwards, the Rogues being to form, with Captain Cold at the helm, Heat Wave and Golden Glider at his side. If that's not enough for some, the two phoenixes and dragon provide the last push.

And one more thing happens: Lisa meets Dr. Caitlin Snow.

* * *

In a world full of magic and meta-humans, Caitlin Snow is a low-level cryokinetic who barely uses her powers. She patches up her lightning-born friend, has a degree in bio-engineering and biochemistry, and is not afraid to go toe to toe with Lisa, a dragon rider and world-class criminal with a gun that can turn her into a priceless statue.

To say Lisa is attracted would be an understatement. Cisco might be cute, but Caitlin is a gem and a half.

And really. Doesn't Lisa deserve some happiness?

Gold sends her starbursts of joy.

* * *

Five months pass. Six. Seven.

During month eight, Caitlin finally agrees—albeit very reluctantly—to Lisa's thousandth invitation for "just a cup of coffee, Doctor. Where's the harm?"

Lisa picks her up, takes her for a ride on Gold, pays for the coffee, even asks Gold to fly off so she can walk Caitlin home—the whole nine yards. She doesn't stop being herself, but Caitlin warms up to her anyway, much to both of their surprise.

When Lisa practically skips into the Rogues' den afterwards, Blue perks up and sings a few notes to Len.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Len tells her without lowering his book.

"Aw, Lenny," Lisa grins, "is there anything you wouldn't do?"

Mick grins, flicking his lighter. "You're thinkin' of me."

Lisa scoffs, "Sure about that?"

Len doesn't bother to hide his smirk when Mick scrutinizes him.

* * *

Next date has Lisa taking Caitlin to dinner. Nothing too fancy, just a diner Lisa likes. Thankfully, Caitlin seems relieved at casual atmosphere; something to remember for the future.

They make comfortable small talk until their food arrives. Suddenly it's like Caitlin's chicken fingers and fries break through a dam, and Lisa finds herself at the mercy of an over-enthused scientist asking all kinds of questions about her bond with her dragon.

Caitlin looks beautiful when she's so open and eager. Lisa touches their ankles and grins. Not one question isn't answered without the best of her ability.

Before heading into her building that evening, Caitlin hesitates. Lisa's heart nearly explodes in her chest when she presses a quick kiss to her cheek and escapes inside.

Gold, of course, picks up on it.  _I trust all went well?_

Dazed, Lisa touches her cheek. When was the last time she was knocked this much off her axis by a simple kiss on the cheek?

 _Better than_.

* * *

It took her more time than she cares to admit, but Lisa Snow is happy at last.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
